3 reasons to exercise and take care of yourself

With feelings of inspiration come blog posts: Week-end progress for The Focus Group. Wow. I have had a good week. Why? Because of the health and fitness coach extraordinaire, Cousin John. Not only is he an insanely inspired and talented artist AND musician AND a sensitive, involved, hands-on dad, but also apparently he could add "personal trainer" to his list of hats as well. Where do I even begin? I guess I'll start approximately 15 years ago. I was a busy, active, fit dance team member and cheerleader for 6 years: from puberty to the end of high school. As if hours of cardo/day after school wasn't enough, most years I got up 15-20 minutes early to do abs and strength training before I hopped in the shower. I had, not a 6 pack but, an 8-pack. My cousin Michael complimented me once that he could see my abs from the football stands. I had no idea that was anything unusual, because it just happened from having an active lifestyle. I remember people complaining about "finding the time" to work out and exercise and not understanding why anyone wouldn't MAKE IT a priority. I felt great all of the time, and I knew it was because I was fit and healthy. In college, all my good habits went to crap. I started drinking cokes every day, starting in the morning "to wake up." I quit exercising altogether "because I didn't have time to do anything but study." Next thing you know, just a few years later, I looked like this: . Boy had I let myself go....HA! Or, so I thought. No, my good habits were gone, but I was still able to pull off a lean physique due to youth and a good metabolism. This picture was taken approximately two weeks before the conception of my first child. The years then began to speed by. Self-care went out the window; I just tried to get sleep when I could, however I could. That was my self-care, and it was all I could do, considering the family circumstances and my season in life. Three children and eight years later, I find myself looking like this: . Boy have I let myself go! This time, I don't want to look back in 8 years and say, "I can't believe I thought I had let myself go." I stopped breastfeeding my third and final (for now) child back in March. After breastfeeding one child or another for the better part of 8 years, the hormone changes affected me quite a bit, mentally/emotionally and physically. I had a small nervous breakdown that lasted about four days. Some rest and medications later, I pulled out of it and promptly began packing on the pounds. It wasn't the total weight that bothered me; it was the rate at which I was steadily gaining. Between March and August, I had gained over 15 pounds. I was used to a pregnancy/breastfeeding diet (3,000 calories/day and no real exercise other than chasing/strolling/walking/playing with kids), and when I continued at that rate sans pregnancy/breastfeeding, the results were scary! Enter Cousin John. We had a rare occasion where most of the family was able to get together for a vacation all at one time. I noticed how awesome he looked! So fit, and he was drinking water and turning down cokes. I was so intrigued by this strange thing. I asked him what he was up to, and he began telling me about his health and fitness journey, and he gave me some great encouragement and pointers on how to begin, then invited me to join an accountability group he was in that was about to start a new program. The way John got in shape was doing P90X and Insanity, the DVD fitness programs by Beach Body. Of course I had seen the infomercials, but I hadn't ever met anyone who had actually finished the program and gotten the desired results. He and some friends were going to start a new program called T25, so I agreed to join in. He sold me on the idea that 25 minutes = ONE Dora episode. There was no excuse after that. Because I was no longer breastfeeding, and all of my children sleep through most of the night most nights, I decided that I could now afford to get up 45 minutes earlier than the children (they are usually my alarm clock). The kids have been waking up around 7:00 lately, so I set my alarm for 6:00, with the intention of getting up by 6:10 and beginning my exercise at 6:15. I committed to trying it for ONE day. Not 3 months, not 2 months, not 1 month, not 1 week. ONE DAY. I got up and did it the first day. I thought. I decided I could do it once more. I did it the next day. The next thing you know, it's Friday, and I've exercised every morning for one week. I am sore (in a good way), but I feel awesome. I have decided I can do it again tomorrow. Maybe even all next week. I don't know how long this will ultimately last, but I sure hope it's the new normal. And I hope my husband joins in so that we can alternate video exercising and going into the great outdoors to run or bike or something. That is my hope for the future anyway. As for right now; let me just tell you what all I have experienced. There were so many things that surprised me this week. As in, taking time for myself did not take away from my family. It actually enhanced our family life. I thought about all the time I waste during the day and realized that taking 30 minutes for exercise is the best thing I can do for all the most important people in my life. LIVE LONG (for my children) LOOK GOOD (for my spouse; quit telling myself it's not important!) FEEL GOOD (for me) Now, everybody knows that exercise makes you feel good, look good, and live longer. But what about the every day? Here's what happened to me: I had no idea how lazy I had become. What was perfectly okay for the busiest seasons with the neediest of children (babies, little crawlers and toddlers) had become habit. Sitting and resting whenever possible had caused me to fall constantly behind on my housework and neglect preparing healthy meals for my family...ouch. Because of my lack of exercise, I had become so sluggish that sometimes even standing up to take a shower seemed like hard work. Because I never break a sweat, I was taking only 2-3 showers/week and was annoyed at the time even those took. It seemed like a waste of time to do anything for myself since I didn't really get moving until mid morning. As the grandma on Beverly Hillbillies said, "The day's over by then!" I think I had sort of unconsciously decided that taking care of myself was waaaay down at the bottom of the list. Why even try? I'm going to be old and fat and ugly anyway. It's over for me. Plus, it takes away from my children (something a mother never wants to do). Well, two things have been different this week. 1, I have been taking a shower every day out of necessity. After the workouts, I am too sweaty to even think about facing the day without a shower. Non-optional showers are easier to just get over with than optional showers. 2, I caught myself saying to a kid, "Sure, I will fix you breakfast, after I take a shower." I put myself first for once. Do I think I need to always put myself first? No way. Should I SOMETIMES put myself first in cases of basic hygiene? Yes. It models self respect, good hygiene, and it begins to clue my kids in on the fact that they are not always first in life...a lesson that is hard to teach the babies you love so dearly unless there is a legitimate purpose. Speaking of laziness, guess what? After the intense workouts, I did not feel comfortable for hours unless I was walking around. Whereas before, I would be as motionless as possible until absolutely necessary and then begin my daily duties (laundry, home schooling, etc) around mid-morning. This week, my heart was pumping and I was in need of a nice cool-down time by 6:45 or 7am. By this time, the kids are just getting up and beginning to stir. I let them watch cartoons and gave them morning water and milk requests as usual, but instead of taking the opportunity to lie around and avoid getting out of bed or peruse facebook, I kept my legs moving so as to avoid cramps! The laundry was washed, dried, folded, and put away, the trash taken out, the house picked up, and the kitchen was clean by 10-10:30am. I was then able to sit down and take a break and eat a healthy brunch, clean up the kids' breakfast, and start on lunch. Lunch was cooked, served, and cleaned up by noon, and other than homeschooling and cooking supper, my choring was done for the day. I was able to play with, read to, and enjoy the rest of the day without the chores just NAGGING my mind every second. All because I got up to exercise. New habits. John suggested I replace cokes with sweet tea, then eventually replace the sweet tea with unsweet tea. I did that, and today was my first full day on unsweet tea. It left me SOOOO many calories to eat for the rest of the day. AND I got the kick in the morning without the sugar crash. It was just awesome! Is sweet tea tastier? Yes, but I have to think of unsweet tea as "water with a kick" and for some reason, that worked for me. No need for it to taste good, just give me the performance factor. And it doesn't really taste bad at all without the sugar. There were other epiphanies as well, but now that it's almost 6pm, I am less able to think so clearly. Early To Rise leads to the need of Early To Bed. Also a good thing: Justin is able to get to work on time. He is getting up with me and the kids are starting to stir earlier and earlier now that they sense we are up earlier. They have even joined in on the exercise some! The benefits just keep on going. Recap! 3 GREAT reasons to exercise and take care of myself: LIVE LONG for my kids, LOOK GOOD for my spouse, FEEL GOOD for me. I'm sure I am not the first to come up with those reasons, but they are now real to me. I really hope I can turn the new habits into a lifestyle change. Good luck to me and you. **sorry about the pictures not making it in yet; i don't know where the old pic is right now; will add it later**

Quotes I don't want to forget

Natalee said three extra-adorable things today. Unfortunately, I already forgot one of them :(. Before I forget the other two:

1) "Mom, I want my bleed (translation: cat scratch) to go away and come again another day."

2) In a pitiful sleep-fighting voice, in answer to my question of "What do you want to draw tomorrow":

"Pickles...

...and balloons...

...and happy sings (translation: "things")"


--Natalee, age 2

New Smoothie!

2 bananas, 1/2 a pineapple, 1 cup baby spinach, 1 bottle of coconut water, 1 glass of ice: this is doing EVERYTHING for me this morning!

Sleep talking

"I gotta dump over my davidstance. I'm becoming a flower. The speakers! I gotta mark 'em."
--justin 2:18am

Banana-Orange Thickie

This is not delicious. It's wicked-delicious: 1/4 c walnuts, 1/8 c quinoa, 1/8 c chia seeds, 2 c OJ, (blend till smooth), 1 banana, 1 clementine, 2 c ice, (Blend till smooth). (Include 1/2-1 c baby spinach or other greens to make it an official "green thickie")

Mommy Dearest

I had a conversation with a friend the other day that reminded me about the power of motherhood. People say, with such lightness (and sometimes condescension), all the time, "Oh, yes, being a mom is the most important 'job' in the world." As humans, we are programmed to imitate our parents, specifically that of the same sex. This relentless imitation behavior is imprinted upon us for survival, and so it's understandable. And, after all, we love our parents, almost no matter how they treated us. If we're attached securely, we think them the greatest humans in the world; if we aren't attached to our parents, we still have an inner longing to please and, therefore, attach as our continuum continues to demand. Sometimes it's near impossible to avoid imitating our mothers, even if we want to, and sometimes it's just flat not worth the effort. Sometimes it is, though. The trick is to pick your internal battles.

Banana-Date Shake

Banana-Date Shake (w/ Walnuts): 1/2 c walnuts, 1/8 c steel cut oats (optional; I like using them whenever possible b/c it makes it so much more filling; you can also sub Quinoa for oats), 1 c water, 1 tsp honey, 1 drop vanilla, (blend into walnut "milk"); 2 ripe bananas, 2 dates, (blend till smooth), 1 c milk, 2 c ice (blend to desired consistency).

Green Thickie #3

Green Thickie #3: 1/4 c mixed nuts, 1/4 c steel cut oats, 3/4 c water, (soak 5 min and blend), 2 1/4 c OJ, 1 c Kale (preferably frozen), 1 c Spinach (preferably frozen), 1.5-2 bananas, 2 dates, 6 strawberries, 1/2 c blueberries, (blend), 1.5-2 c ice, (blend again).

Green Thickie #2

Green Thickie #2: 1/2 tsp flax seeds, 1/8 cup steel cut oats, 1/8 cup mixed nuts (healthy ones) or one kind of your favorite nuts, 1 cup OJ, (take a break and blend), 1 slice pineapple, 1 clementine or orange, handful blueberrries, 1/2 avacado, 5 strawberries, 1 banana, 2 cups ice; blend till creamy and smooth. I know that my spaces and paragraphs aren't showing up. I don't get it. I'm not sure I'll ever figure out the new blogger or my new computer. Sorry!

My Green Thickie recipe

I got inspired to try making "green thickies" from a pinterest link to greenthickies.com. I struck out a couple of times, but I got there. This turned out so delicious, I thought. "Green Thickie #1" 1-2 bananas (preferably frozen) 1 orange or carrot 2 pitted dates 1 vanilla yogurt (I used Activia) 5-6 raspberries (preferably frozen) 5-6 blackberries (preferably frozen) 2 cups good quality Orange Juice 3/4-1 cup whole milk 1-2 cups spinach 1/8 cup raw almonds (not salted or roasted) 1/8 cup raw oats 1 yoplait strawberry-banana yogurt pop Blend into a smoothie! I like using mostly frozen fruit and greens so that it's not necessary to add any or much ice. The colder the better. Drink this and just try to drag around and not feel good! Also, just try to eat something before lunch: not gonna happen!

I walk in the moonlight

I walk in the moonlight I stroll 'neath the trees And listen in silence as all hit their knees For sickness and sadness And all those who mourn And thank thee for gladness And hope which was born

Where in the world does the time go?

Oh my goodness. It's been a year since I posted. Not a very good track record for the "new" blog. Oh dear me, where do I even begin? Well, the three "big" events of last year would have been: (1) miscarriage, (2) death of grandfather, (3) big move. Looks like the last post I did was mid February of last year. Shortly after that post, Justin and I conceived our fourth child. I guess I became busy just handling the extra fatigue and all that goes along with a first trimester. My emotions were all over the place, I remember. I don't remember being like that with the first three pregnancies. With this one, I was very angry with people, particularly perfect strangers. I got into two arguments that spring: one with the apartment manager, and one with a lady in line at the McDonald's. Both of which seemed to stem from what I had begun to develop and lovingly refer to as the "city blues." I felt cooped up in our small apartment and nature was so difficult to get to. My nearby choices were: (1) the apartment grounds, which were just lovely...it's a shame it was against the rules to walk on/touch the landscaping...which we did, and we got called out 2-3 times, the last of which I shot her a terrible look and asked her what she was going to do about it... oy...very out of character; and (2) the nearby McDonald's outdoor playground, which was stressful enough just the worry about the germs. The hungry McDonald's addicts circled around the fenced outdoor playground at peak lunch hours and it was never a problem. The only problem was the darn flock of pigeons that would literally fly by and pluck nuggets off your plate and fly away with them...which isn't really a problem if you have endless funds to buy more nuggets (which I didn't) or if you aren't concerned about bird germs (which I was). Now, I'm a big believer in being present with one's children and not having one's nose in the cell phone. This particular day, there was some concerning junk going on: my grandfather was sick and in the hospital, recovering from abdominal surgery, and I had just been to the OBGYN and gotten some unnerving news that my baby was measuring too small and the heartrate was too slow. I needed to take the kids somewhere where they would be completely fenced in and completely distracted and not needing my attention so that I could communicate with my family, who was 12 hours away, about these things. So, off to McD's we went. After the kids had had their food (which, of course, attracted the pigeons), they began entertaining themselves by chasing the pigeons around, hiding until the pigeons landed, then running toward them, causing them to fly away, etc. I was completely fine with this. In fact, I thought, "Thank goodness! Some pigeon entertainment! Maybe we can kill an hour here!" Anybody ever been a desperate mom, just trying to get through the day? If not, SHOVE IT!!! So anyway, a woman in the drivethru line decides to take it upon herself to roll down her window and fuss at my kids. "Quit bothering those birds!" said she. My ears perked up and I lifted my eyes over my phone and burned a hole in the side of her head. She proceeded to roll down her window and criticize me for being "too involved in my phone to pay attention to my kids who are 'harassing the wildlife.'" I got up and walked to the edge of the playground and asked her if there was anything else she'd like to help me with today. The next thing you know, we were in quite the altercation. Sparing you the details, I believe I achieved my goal of both standing up for myself but also staying on the high road. She, however, resorted to name-calling and did, indeed, call me a "crack-head" as she sped around the corner to the drive thru window. The whole thing was just bizarre, I tell you. Anyway, all that to say, it was a strange-feeling pregnancy, and two weeks later, I went back to the doctor to find out it was over. I would have been 10 weeks at that point. I opted to go the natural route, and it took 3 more weeks for the placenta, etc, to be delivered. It was another strange 3 weeks. I was afraid to leave the house and, in fact, didn't. I had no idea what was going to happen. I'm glad I didn't, because if it had happened when I was driving or out somewhere in Houston with the kids, I would have been in trouble. On May 1, somewhere in the 13th week, I had a particularly energetic morning. I had been bleeding for about a week, beginning with just some spotting for a few days but it had just become like a regular period by that day. I thought that was going to be about it. That morning, I was feeling good, and I hand-scrubbed all the floors in the house with vinegar water. About 5pm, I started experiencing some cramping. I called Justin and told him to come home as soon as possible. By 5:15, I could no longer walk, the cramping was so bad. I sat on the couch and tried to verbally instruct Bradley to help himself and the other kids with anything anyone needed or asked for. It got worse and worse, and I started passing some rather large tissue clots. Justin got home at 6 and I retired to the bathroom to struggle in privacy while Justin fed and entertained the kids in the main room of the apartment. The cramps felt like about the end of pre-labor and the beginning of active labor; probably about 4cm. I even got in a hot bath to relieve the pain. It helped, then I got out and they came right back. By now it's about 7:15 and I had been loosing quite a bit of blood, soaking a large pad about every 10 minutes. I called for Justin because I was stuck on the bathroom floor and couldn't get up. The cramps felt like about 5-6cm contractions at that point. He helped me get a t-shirt and some depends on (I love depends underwear; don't knock it till you've tried it!) and he literally carried me to the bed because I was in too much pain to walk. At this point, I was shaking uncontrollably. Justin thought I was cold and covered me up with a bunch of blankets, but I wasn't really cold. I thought it had to do with loosing a lot of blood or the pain, but really it was shaking like when you are in transition in labor; that's what it felt like, anyway, just not as painful as real labor. I finally conceded to taking something for the pain. I had had a terrible back injury earlier that spring and had some hydrocodone left over from that. I took half of one and waited. About 30 minutes later (8:00pm), I felt a lot better and was able to text. I was texting mom about what was going on when I felt the urge to push???? I really didn't have a choice. I pushed twice and delivered something quite large. It was a ball of tissue the size of my fist. Upon later inspection, it was a perfect little miniature placenta, complete with an intact sac of water and a little blood clot which, we assume, was once the baby. After that, the bleeding stopped, the cramping stopped; it was over. I'm so glad I let it happen that way. Going natural like that provided so much closure, and it really helped me with the grieving process. Interesting story: Earlier in the pregnancy, before I knew there was anything wrong, I had already chosen a girl name. I had heard another mom at church call out to her daughter, "Katie Jane!" It was love at first...sound. I had always liked the names Jane and Katie, just had never thought of putting them together. I thought, "I'd have to make the name officially Katherine Jane and just use Katie for short." After the miscarriage, we sent the placenta in for genetic testing. Results indicated the baby was, in fact, a female. Then my memory was taken back to when I was pregnant with Bradley. Grandmother was still alive, but would not be for long. I went to tell her I was expecting, and she got a far-off look in her eyes, then she said, "I'll be the first to see little Katherine." I didn't think much of it at the time. I thought that was just her way of saying her guess is that the baby was a girl and that I'd name it Katherine. I got in bed with her and cuddled with her for awhile, then went back to Little Rock. That was my last conversation with her; she died less than 2 months later. I was surprised 7 months later when Bradley came out a boy, and thought, "Huh. I guess Grandmother was wrong," and forgot about the whole thing, until the miscarriage. I have great peace about the whole thing, and it's comforting to imagine Grandmother taking care of "little Katherine" in Heaven for me. Granddaddy Harold joined little Katherine, Grandmother-Bigmother and the others before us the following month, in June. He had gotten better after his surgery, but he had a massive stroke just a couple weeks later. We all got to see him before he stopped breathing, and a lot of the family was there when he died. His death was sudden but peaceful, and I'm happy it ended that way for him. He was particularly afraid of dying, I think. I don't blame him. Life is so extremely short. Justin finished his residency and we did our second big move as a family. We live next door to mom and dad now, in the country, and we are very happy here. The kids are still adjusting to all the disruption, but we are starting to finally feel settled, and we love our new home (which we are renting, but hoping to buy, if possible). Justin started his practice and is very happy; he feels very well prepared by his training and does not stress much about work. We are getting more vacation time now and starting to explore the world of "family minivacations" which is quite a treat. The move in and of itself, was/is a doozy, and it's not over. I'll just leave it at that. Lots of STUFF to go through and find a place for or get rid of. Let's see, what else. OH! Homeschooling. We are still homeschooling and we just passed the one-year mark. LOVING IT. Still working kinks out and learning, but I have a feeling that that is all part of the new normal. I will of course be posting a lot about that, so I'll just leave it alone right now. API. I started the first API group in Arkansas which was a huge goal of mine. It is going well. I'm enjoying volunteering for API in general and there are all kinds of opportunities for me there, if and when I can find the time. Why API? Because I think it's world-changing stuff. Doula stuff. I have my first birth coming up! I am so excited. She was due 2 days ago, so it won't be long! New things: (1) I drink green smoothies now. Many updates to come on that. (2) Gonna start a garden (first time other than just flowers and an herb garden...I'm pumped!) Updates on that to come as well. In the meantime, my "blogs" might just be in the form of status updates, since they're quick and easy, but they say a lot. I got off facebook and twitter and am missing updating my status, so I'll just do it here. Win-win. I get to update my status, but no one has to read it unless they come here on purpose. That's all for now. Maybe someday I'll figure out how to add pictures to my blog. Sigh.