I like to keep everyone up-to-date on how my cooking and laundry routines are going. Haaaaaahahaha!! But seriously, I do. This stuff is important! I have to have order in the house in order to be in a good mood all day in it.
Former cooking and laundry schedules (pre-3-kids):
COOKING
Thursday: Grocery shop, cook 2 casseroles (one beef, one chicken) and put half of each in the freezer. With the two left, put one in the fridge for Saturday lunch and cook one for supper Thursday night.
Friday: Order pizza
Saturday: Cook the casserole and eat leftovers that night
Sunday: Lunch--go out; supper--hamburgers and fries or fried chicken and mashed potatoes
Monday: Frozen casserole from the week before last
Tuesday: Breakfast for supper
Wednesday: Frozen casserole from the week before last
LAUNDRY (notice the alliteration device)
Monday: Blues (darks)
Tuesday: Towels
Wednesday: Whites
ThuRsday: Reds/pinks
Friday: FREE day (no laundry)
Saturday: Scrubs (Justin's work clothes)
Sunday: Sheets
----------------------
Those routines worked really well for years. Once I had #3, I had to simplify again, so....now, it's like this:
COOKING:
Whatever we have, I cook it. I can now cook a decent lunch (the kids stay busier without my help than they used to) and save some for Justin for supper. If I don't cook, we eat a very simple supper--cereal, toast...breakfast food, basically.
LAUNDRY:
Do every shred of laundry, every day. This usually amounts to one load a day, and I mix everything together including reds. I just don't have time for separating laundry anymore, and I need the baskets to be empty all the time to feel relaxed.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
Curriculum Crazies
I would like to share my current approach to homeschooling (and pre-schooling) my children. This post may or may not be interesting, depending on who is reading it. It's mostly just a little processing on my part, just to get a few thoughts out of my head and written down.
I'll save how I came to all this for another post, but here's the conclusion in short:
I use a Charlotte Mason, Classical, and Unschooling-inspired approach. I'll explain what each of these is in another post as well. I expect my education philosophy preferences and my approaches to change over time some, but I think these overarching philosophies are going to stick with me. I value both strong academics and ample free time/choice, both sit-down work and world-is-your-classroom learning. There isn't a pre-packaged curriculum that I could find that combines these three philosophies well, since classical and unschooling are kind of at opposite ends of the spectrum, so here's what I came up with for this year:
I do both daily work and a block schedule. The daily work is as follows:
*A letter of the day (example, today was "Q" day; you can do so much random, unplanned learning with having a letter of the day)
*A craft to go with the letter (right now, I give them a wooden letter to color with marker; at the end of the alphabet, I will display their letters on the wall and we will start a new craft project as we start over with A again)
*A Bible verse which starts with the letter of the day (I found ABC verses on icanteachmychild.com). This is an important element, even though it's a very small assignment, because it covers four things: Bible teaching, memory work, penmanship, and reading practice. This is the ONLY thing I have to prepare for the night before. It only involves typing in the verse to handwritingworksheets.com and printing it off. For Mikey (pre-k), I only type capital and lowercase letters of the day, because he is still solidifying his letter sounds and is just beginning writing. So, I simply have Bradley trace the verse, then read it aloud, and I help him sound out the words he doesn't know. The Bible is such a great source of sentences with a combination of very simple and very complex words. Great for reading practice. Again, the verses I've chosen are SHORT, so he doesn't mind practicing writing or reading them. He sees it as fun, and he looks forward to the next day's. It is a challenge, though, as it takes awhile for him to trace it and he talks about his hand being tired afterward. He is a reluctant writer (especially since he's a lefty), so I don't require him to copy the verse. I will start doing that next year, for first grade. The idea is to rotate the verses and do the same 26 over and over, month after month, until everyone has them all memorized, then change them up and repeat.
*One worksheet (front and back) of phonics (we are using "Explode the Code" and really like it)
*One worksheet (front and back) of math (we are using "Horizon" and like it)
*Practice one skill of math on the computer (we are using ixl.com and really like it; it reduces my workload considerably, and they love using the computer as part of their school)
*Glue the date stick on the wall (every week, i write monday-friday's dates on craft sticks and a number on the back that indicates what day of homeschool it is; our goal is to do between 80 and 100 days of homeschool before we stop for summer break, depending on when we feel we are "finished" for the year); I feel like this helps them keep up with the passage of time and it's solidifying Mikey's ability to count up high.
*Starting next week, I am going to ask them what they want to learn about that starts with the letter of the day and we will look it up in the encyclopedia and go from there (make diagrams, do crafts, memorize facts, draw pictures, or just read information); I wanted to get the skeleton of our normal day set up before I added in this important child-led learning (unschool) element, because this part of the curriculum could take us anywhere. I gave this a test run over Christmas break and it worked really well. We'll see if they continue to enjoy it. If they do, this will be a great way to cover history and science.
**Optional daily work is: calendar and journal. They each have calendars that they can fill in the date, add a shape pattern, and record the weather. They like to do this every few days and just catch up instead of do it every single day (I agree with them; it's rather redundant on a daily basis). The journals are little notebooks with blank space at the top and lines at the bottom. They can write in it and illustrate at the top. This is a favorite activity, but not one they do every day. They like to take their journals with them mostly on outings (nature walks or the zoo, etc) and record their findings. Sometimes I give them prompts and start a sentence for them to finish; those end up being really cute.
So, that's it for daily work. It sounds like a lot but it's really not. The whole thing (minus the encyclopedia bit that we haven't started yet) takes somewhere between an hour and 1.5 hours. The rest of the day is play time, which includes lots of outside time and me reading aloud. This seems to fit very naturally with what they want to do anyway, and I haven't had many problems with them not entertaining themselves, because if they ever get bored, we just do school. Once we're done with school or need a break from it, they're happy to entertain themselves with music or blocks or something. Our house rule is no screen anything until 3:00, and that's only if everyone's school is done.
Stuff I try to do on a weekly basis:
*Monday: Clean up. This is the day where I do extra housework beyond the daily maintenance. I wrote jobs down on craft sticks and we call them "job sticks." On Mondays, the kids each get to pick a job stick (usually, I set out the three most urgent jobs that need to be done) and I do what's left. This has worked very well so far.
*Tuesday: Swimming lessons
*Wednesday: extra phonics work (listen to phonics sounds with flashcards, play a phonics game, etc)
*Thursday: Karate
*Friday: Art and/or projects related to any subject
So far, this routine has provided me with the flexibility I need to stay interested, which is half the battle.
I'll save how I came to all this for another post, but here's the conclusion in short:
I use a Charlotte Mason, Classical, and Unschooling-inspired approach. I'll explain what each of these is in another post as well. I expect my education philosophy preferences and my approaches to change over time some, but I think these overarching philosophies are going to stick with me. I value both strong academics and ample free time/choice, both sit-down work and world-is-your-classroom learning. There isn't a pre-packaged curriculum that I could find that combines these three philosophies well, since classical and unschooling are kind of at opposite ends of the spectrum, so here's what I came up with for this year:
I do both daily work and a block schedule. The daily work is as follows:
*A letter of the day (example, today was "Q" day; you can do so much random, unplanned learning with having a letter of the day)
*A craft to go with the letter (right now, I give them a wooden letter to color with marker; at the end of the alphabet, I will display their letters on the wall and we will start a new craft project as we start over with A again)
*A Bible verse which starts with the letter of the day (I found ABC verses on icanteachmychild.com). This is an important element, even though it's a very small assignment, because it covers four things: Bible teaching, memory work, penmanship, and reading practice. This is the ONLY thing I have to prepare for the night before. It only involves typing in the verse to handwritingworksheets.com and printing it off. For Mikey (pre-k), I only type capital and lowercase letters of the day, because he is still solidifying his letter sounds and is just beginning writing. So, I simply have Bradley trace the verse, then read it aloud, and I help him sound out the words he doesn't know. The Bible is such a great source of sentences with a combination of very simple and very complex words. Great for reading practice. Again, the verses I've chosen are SHORT, so he doesn't mind practicing writing or reading them. He sees it as fun, and he looks forward to the next day's. It is a challenge, though, as it takes awhile for him to trace it and he talks about his hand being tired afterward. He is a reluctant writer (especially since he's a lefty), so I don't require him to copy the verse. I will start doing that next year, for first grade. The idea is to rotate the verses and do the same 26 over and over, month after month, until everyone has them all memorized, then change them up and repeat.
*One worksheet (front and back) of phonics (we are using "Explode the Code" and really like it)
*One worksheet (front and back) of math (we are using "Horizon" and like it)
*Practice one skill of math on the computer (we are using ixl.com and really like it; it reduces my workload considerably, and they love using the computer as part of their school)
*Glue the date stick on the wall (every week, i write monday-friday's dates on craft sticks and a number on the back that indicates what day of homeschool it is; our goal is to do between 80 and 100 days of homeschool before we stop for summer break, depending on when we feel we are "finished" for the year); I feel like this helps them keep up with the passage of time and it's solidifying Mikey's ability to count up high.
*Starting next week, I am going to ask them what they want to learn about that starts with the letter of the day and we will look it up in the encyclopedia and go from there (make diagrams, do crafts, memorize facts, draw pictures, or just read information); I wanted to get the skeleton of our normal day set up before I added in this important child-led learning (unschool) element, because this part of the curriculum could take us anywhere. I gave this a test run over Christmas break and it worked really well. We'll see if they continue to enjoy it. If they do, this will be a great way to cover history and science.
**Optional daily work is: calendar and journal. They each have calendars that they can fill in the date, add a shape pattern, and record the weather. They like to do this every few days and just catch up instead of do it every single day (I agree with them; it's rather redundant on a daily basis). The journals are little notebooks with blank space at the top and lines at the bottom. They can write in it and illustrate at the top. This is a favorite activity, but not one they do every day. They like to take their journals with them mostly on outings (nature walks or the zoo, etc) and record their findings. Sometimes I give them prompts and start a sentence for them to finish; those end up being really cute.
So, that's it for daily work. It sounds like a lot but it's really not. The whole thing (minus the encyclopedia bit that we haven't started yet) takes somewhere between an hour and 1.5 hours. The rest of the day is play time, which includes lots of outside time and me reading aloud. This seems to fit very naturally with what they want to do anyway, and I haven't had many problems with them not entertaining themselves, because if they ever get bored, we just do school. Once we're done with school or need a break from it, they're happy to entertain themselves with music or blocks or something. Our house rule is no screen anything until 3:00, and that's only if everyone's school is done.
Stuff I try to do on a weekly basis:
*Monday: Clean up. This is the day where I do extra housework beyond the daily maintenance. I wrote jobs down on craft sticks and we call them "job sticks." On Mondays, the kids each get to pick a job stick (usually, I set out the three most urgent jobs that need to be done) and I do what's left. This has worked very well so far.
*Tuesday: Swimming lessons
*Wednesday: extra phonics work (listen to phonics sounds with flashcards, play a phonics game, etc)
*Thursday: Karate
*Friday: Art and/or projects related to any subject
So far, this routine has provided me with the flexibility I need to stay interested, which is half the battle.
Speaking of Homeless dudes...
I have developed a solution to my problem. Living in the middle of Houston, there are bums everywhere. Some more convincing than others...nonetheless...there are Jesuses everywhere, just staring me down.
Now. This is a problem for me. I recently took a detailed spiritual gifts inventory and, consistent with a shorter one I took 10+ years ago, "Giving" and "Mercy" were in the top 3. People like me are setting ducks for homeless dudes. If I don't have cash with me, I feel horrible...especially if I don't have any ones or fives or tens, but I DO have a twenty or fifty and opt not to give it away. SO...here's my solution!
BUM KIT.
High calorie protein energy bars with 2 or 3 dollars rubber-banded to it. This works well for most (not all) bum-on-the-street situations, and it has been very well-received. It is a very affordable way to be kind to a lot of people without going broke.
Now. This is a problem for me. I recently took a detailed spiritual gifts inventory and, consistent with a shorter one I took 10+ years ago, "Giving" and "Mercy" were in the top 3. People like me are setting ducks for homeless dudes. If I don't have cash with me, I feel horrible...especially if I don't have any ones or fives or tens, but I DO have a twenty or fifty and opt not to give it away. SO...here's my solution!
BUM KIT.
High calorie protein energy bars with 2 or 3 dollars rubber-banded to it. This works well for most (not all) bum-on-the-street situations, and it has been very well-received. It is a very affordable way to be kind to a lot of people without going broke.
Various and sundry
Bradley lost his first tooth today. I'm so sad because he swallowed it with his chicken nuggets! I found him crawling on the floor in a strange way, as if inspecting the carpet, from the direction of the bathroom. I asked him what he was looking for, and he looked at me, gave a dramatic pause, then showed me his missing tooth! He had been scared to death of loosing it (which is why I'm so sad that he swallowed it and didn't get to see it or keep it), but he actually looked really proud. Oh, my goodness, he's getting so incredibly big. I had just noticed that yesterday and said it out loud. Almost 6 years old. Just two and a half more periods of time equal to what I've already had with him, and he'll be grown up and gone. It's staggering.
Today, at swimming lessons (at 11am), we met another homeschool family. They were delightful, as most homeschool families I run into are. It was really encouraging to see another mother like me, with three kids like mine (only, in her case, they were all girls) who homeschool and are happy-looking. The mother seemed so relaxed and happy. It really does help me, every time I see another family like this; it's good for me to see a variety of people who homeschool. We talked for a short period of time and she mentioned that one of the reasons she homeschools is the freedom, which resonates with me. I'm looking forward to gaining insight from her. Of course the kids got along great, neither of ours refusing to play with the others because they were the opposite sex.
I love interesting people.
Interesting people group #1: my arabic friends. Here's just three reasons I love having friendship with them:
(1) The mom of the family, who is my age or a little younger, calls me "Charlie." No matter how many times she tries to practice saying, "Ashley," she always goes back to "Charlie." I kind of love it.
(2) They make me talk like a caveperson. "You good?" "Yes, me good." "You eat?" "Me no eat." "Me bring food here? Yes. Ok. Good." (all with big hand motions)
(3) To explain why we couldn't come over for dinner because the kids were sick, I had to act out "diarrhea".... not something you normally do every day. Very character building.
Interesting people group #2: homeless dudes and dudettes. If you give them food, you get one of two reactions: (1) extreme gratefulness, which makes the effort worth it; (2) pickiness or other behavior indicative that they really aren't all that hungry after all, which makes the effort worth it as well (because you don't have to feel as sorry for them anymore)... win-win! For example, I gave a man on the street whose sign said, "Need help with food," a granola bar. He had the cutest personality and said, "I thank you and my cat thanks you. She looks at me like this [demonstrates a sad, begging look] and I tell her, 'tomorrow, tomorrow,'" Then he checks out the granola bar and puts it in his pocket.....to feed to his cat, I guess! ???????? I then say, "Aw, poor little cat," and he says, "Poor! She ain't poor, she's spoiled!" Hilarious!
So, this week marks the first week (beginning of the third) that Bradley has automatically done all of his school work without being told and only asking for help when needed. It has been so encouraging. Mikey is doing the beginning of his work with enthusiasm, but he burns out quickly, so I'm cutting out some of the least important stuff (calendar time and journal), which can be done and caught up on in a whim. Now, all he does is color the letter of the day and practice writing it. He has, for some unknown reason, lost interest in drawing which is disheartening. I'm trying to encourage it, but he seems dead set on not drawing. I'm thinking of adding some sort of manipulative math activity (like Cuisinaire Rods) for him to do instead of drawing until he comes back around.
Speaking of Mikey, he is turning into a little four year old. He is as precious and delightful as can be, and there's really not much else to say about him or I would go on and on all day. Natalee is turning into a toddler before my eyes. As it turns out, she is early with the verbal skills (which is new for me, as the boys didn't talk early) and quite brainy in the same way as Bradley was (already knowing her letters, colors, and numbers up to 10, out of order and solidly). Her personality is coming out as sweet and sassy. It's really cute, and she and I are developing a "mother-daughter relationship" which is so cool. Bradley and Natalee enjoy data, much like their daddy and his side of the family. Mikey's EIQ (emotional intelligence) is through the roof, like my side. He's just now getting into letters and numbers and such at age four, which seems so late to me, but I think it's probably relatively average. Like I was saying, though, Mikey's empathy level is crazy. More times than one, he has foregone food so that someone else (like me) may have their fill, even though I know he is hungry and wants more. When I tell him that I (or whoever else) can have something else and it's okay for him to go ahead and eat it, he then pretends to all of a sudden have a "tummy that feels full" in order for the person to have their share of it. What four year old does that? I'm just so proud of my healthy, beautiful, neat kids. Pardon me if I have to brag on how awesome they are at times. I know I'm completely biased. Anyway, moving on...
Today, at swimming lessons (at 11am), we met another homeschool family. They were delightful, as most homeschool families I run into are. It was really encouraging to see another mother like me, with three kids like mine (only, in her case, they were all girls) who homeschool and are happy-looking. The mother seemed so relaxed and happy. It really does help me, every time I see another family like this; it's good for me to see a variety of people who homeschool. We talked for a short period of time and she mentioned that one of the reasons she homeschools is the freedom, which resonates with me. I'm looking forward to gaining insight from her. Of course the kids got along great, neither of ours refusing to play with the others because they were the opposite sex.
I love interesting people.
Interesting people group #1: my arabic friends. Here's just three reasons I love having friendship with them:
(1) The mom of the family, who is my age or a little younger, calls me "Charlie." No matter how many times she tries to practice saying, "Ashley," she always goes back to "Charlie." I kind of love it.
(2) They make me talk like a caveperson. "You good?" "Yes, me good." "You eat?" "Me no eat." "Me bring food here? Yes. Ok. Good." (all with big hand motions)
(3) To explain why we couldn't come over for dinner because the kids were sick, I had to act out "diarrhea".... not something you normally do every day. Very character building.
Interesting people group #2: homeless dudes and dudettes. If you give them food, you get one of two reactions: (1) extreme gratefulness, which makes the effort worth it; (2) pickiness or other behavior indicative that they really aren't all that hungry after all, which makes the effort worth it as well (because you don't have to feel as sorry for them anymore)... win-win! For example, I gave a man on the street whose sign said, "Need help with food," a granola bar. He had the cutest personality and said, "I thank you and my cat thanks you. She looks at me like this [demonstrates a sad, begging look] and I tell her, 'tomorrow, tomorrow,'" Then he checks out the granola bar and puts it in his pocket.....to feed to his cat, I guess! ???????? I then say, "Aw, poor little cat," and he says, "Poor! She ain't poor, she's spoiled!" Hilarious!
So, this week marks the first week (beginning of the third) that Bradley has automatically done all of his school work without being told and only asking for help when needed. It has been so encouraging. Mikey is doing the beginning of his work with enthusiasm, but he burns out quickly, so I'm cutting out some of the least important stuff (calendar time and journal), which can be done and caught up on in a whim. Now, all he does is color the letter of the day and practice writing it. He has, for some unknown reason, lost interest in drawing which is disheartening. I'm trying to encourage it, but he seems dead set on not drawing. I'm thinking of adding some sort of manipulative math activity (like Cuisinaire Rods) for him to do instead of drawing until he comes back around.
Speaking of Mikey, he is turning into a little four year old. He is as precious and delightful as can be, and there's really not much else to say about him or I would go on and on all day. Natalee is turning into a toddler before my eyes. As it turns out, she is early with the verbal skills (which is new for me, as the boys didn't talk early) and quite brainy in the same way as Bradley was (already knowing her letters, colors, and numbers up to 10, out of order and solidly). Her personality is coming out as sweet and sassy. It's really cute, and she and I are developing a "mother-daughter relationship" which is so cool. Bradley and Natalee enjoy data, much like their daddy and his side of the family. Mikey's EIQ (emotional intelligence) is through the roof, like my side. He's just now getting into letters and numbers and such at age four, which seems so late to me, but I think it's probably relatively average. Like I was saying, though, Mikey's empathy level is crazy. More times than one, he has foregone food so that someone else (like me) may have their fill, even though I know he is hungry and wants more. When I tell him that I (or whoever else) can have something else and it's okay for him to go ahead and eat it, he then pretends to all of a sudden have a "tummy that feels full" in order for the person to have their share of it. What four year old does that? I'm just so proud of my healthy, beautiful, neat kids. Pardon me if I have to brag on how awesome they are at times. I know I'm completely biased. Anyway, moving on...
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Homeschool: How I got here
This could be a long or short story, depending on where you begin.
The short story is, we're just doing it this year out of necessity. We moved into a HUGE city with a billion school choices and options just a month and a half before it would be time for him to start school for the very first time ever (preschool and mother's morning out included). We didn't have time to visit and check out our options, so we just googled a couple of things we liked the idea of (classical, university model) and found one school that fit both descriptions; it was a small, new school that met in a church, just one or two years old, the class they had us visit was a preschool class and the most impressive teacher I've ever seen (all the 4 year olds were reading and writing independently), and the administrative people seemed nice, so we signed him up. We should have looked around more. When we came back, the school seemed to be struggling. Their enrollment had doubled and they didn't have enough teachers and were scrambling to hire people the summer before school started. That good teacher had left and it turned out that she wasn't a result of their teacher training but was just the most gifted teacher they had ever seen (it wasn't just me). It turned out that the school was just not a good fit for Bradley or our family. We lasted 9 weeks there before I put ourselves (and, dare I say, the school) out of our misery and took him out. Hence began homeschool!
What went wrong with the school? A lot of things. First of all, there's Bradley's role in it. I say role because it was absolutely not his fault. If there was any fault in the matter, it was mine. But, basically, Bradley and this school were like the perfect storm. First of all, I should have put him in pre-k there. The reason I didn't is because when we moved to the small community that we are moving to next year, I wanted the option of putting him into first grade or repeating kindergarten; I thought that if I put him in pre-k, we would not have the option of first grade when we got there. The problem with choosing a grade for Bradley is this: his maturity level and his size and intelligence are in two different ball parks. In pre-k, he would have stuck out like a sore thumb. He's big and tall and even has two loose teeth now. He already knows pre-k subject matter and has for years. But he has never been in a structured classroom and would have enjoyed the "babyish" aspects of it (playing with blocks and the kitchen, etc; just having free time built in in general). There, pre-k was like any other regular kindergarten. Then, they use first grade curriculum for their kindergarten and run the classroom just like a typical first grade (no free time, no play centers, etc). This was not an easy transition for Bradley to say the least. He had nooooo idea what to do or how to do it. Most of the other kids there knew the drill from being there or somewhere else for pre-k. There was basically zero tolerance for a child who was just learning how to sit still for hours, raise his hand to speak, and generally have no choice about his activity at any given moment. The curriculum was very intense, and Bradley (along with the rest of the children in the school) seemed very stressed. Eventually, Bradley even started pooping in his pants after school (especially on the bad days)--a classic sign of stress in children. Then there was the other stuff. The list could go on and on, so I'll just pick out a few things I disliked about the school. First, there was the bullying. You would think this wouldn't happen in a small private Christian school, especially when the kids are parroting "God, Jesus, God" all day long. Not so much. Poor baby. He was coming home telling me things people had said that day, such as, "I don't like you," "I hate you," "You're not my friend," "We don't want new friends," and "You can't play with us." These children were saying this stuff to him, hitting him, and shoving him down on the ground when teachers weren't looking (because they somehow know how to be sneaky and hide stuff from adults), then they would quietly irritate him in front of a teacher or adult (by poking him with their paper, etc) until Bradley retaliated and then Bradley would be sent to the principle's office, a big deal would be made about it, and then Bradley would be asked to apologize (when he was clearly not sorry). In this school, the drill is: do something wrong, apologize, ask for forgiveness...repeat. That really just didn't make sense to him, because in our family, I don't require insincere apologies (sincere apologies, yes; efforts to make a wrongdoing right, yes; lying, no). There were two boys that Bradley got mixed up with in a negative, repetitious cycle; both boys were children of the original group of parents who started the school, one of which being a board member's kid. So, basically, Bradley was scapegoated as being the "bad kid" and "troublemaker" of the class. Now. You think I'm fixin to have that? Um. NO. We are talking about a child who, in Sunday School (the only teacher-class experience he's had so far), has never had any report from the teacher but, "He is so sweet and polite and quiet. I wish every boy acted like him." At this school, Bradley was constantly in fight or flight mode; and he couldn't flee, so he fought. It's just all really sad that he had this experience. Before school, his favorite activities were: Math, Reading, and Writing. Now? He "hates God songs math, reading, writing, and books." Where did he even pick up the word hate? He never even heard or used that word before school....wait. Oh yeah, he got that at school. Anyway, to end a long and painful story, the conclusion is that the school was not a good fit. Basically, it was a group of parents who thought they were awesome parents and all agreed on parenting, then wanted to start a school that was just like their homes: regimented, authoritarian, and uber heavy on the "discipleship." And they all want their kids to go to Ivy League schools. This really is just not my style. I prefer my schedule as open and free as possible with as much variety as possible, my children have a lot of choice and say in our home and they aren't required to obey authority figures automatically, and my approach to discipleship is to attempt to live my beliefs and answer any questions they have along the way and not require them to pray and act as though they are a Christian when they are, in fact, not. The school seemed to be a great fit for a lot of people, and I'm really happy for them. If I could find a school that fit with my beliefs, I would be just as happy. So far...no dice. Apparently, I'm odd. And what do all the odd people do? Homeschool! Right?
So, you thought that was long? Those are the short and medium-ish stories. Here goes the LONG version. Gosh, where do I start?
I am not one of those people who is constantly saying, "God told me to do this," and "The Lord called me to that." But, occasionally...He tends to do that to me. I don't talk about it, but the Holy Spirit within me occasionally bugs me until I give in on something. THS (The Holy Spirit) and I have been going round and round for years on homeschool. I am, like, the most reluctant homeschooler ever. At the same time, I want peace about my choice for the children's educations and, like Jacob, I'm not letting go until God blesses me with it!!! I want PEACE! I must have PEACE! It's what I need to continue the parenting journey with my sanity intact!
So, the school thing brought me no peace. It was so stressful..and it was only TWO measly little days a week! Two days of getting up early, eating breakfast, getting dressed, packing the lunch, and rush-rush-rushing out the door. The "homeschool days" were hardly that. It was like I was no longer the mom of my children: I was now something I never aspired to be...a teacher. The kindergarten curriculum was so involved that I had to completely ignore my other two children for two whole days a week in order to get those boxes checked in order to keep him up with the pace of the rest of the class. It's not that he couldn't do the work. The work was too easy for him, which made it even more painful to sit and slave over it for hours and hours in order to have something to turn in to prove that he had done it. And when I say hours and hours, I mean HOURS and HOURS. I looked around at the other parents for inspiration, especially those who had been at the school from the beginning. They were all completely stressed, too. They said it, it was written all over their faces, and it was obvious by the lack of interest in activities on homeschool days that no one had any time for anything else except school. This bothered me. I didn't want my future in sending my kids to school or homeschooling my children to look like that...always dashing around from thing to thing with no time for people, friends, family, neighbors, or even each other. On at-school days, Bradley was so exhausted after school that I didn't have the heart to ask him to do anything and let him watch TV until supper and bedtime (which had to come early because of school). On those days, he had no play time to go outside and make use of free time. On home days, we had so much to do that I couldn't even throw a load of laundry in, let alone dry and fold and put away a load; I got very behind on my housework which was a huge source of stress. Also, I no longer had time to let the kids help with stuff. I would frantically go about catching up while threatening and punishing Bradley into finishing his home work. By the end of the checklist, none of us wanted anything to do with a book, learning anything, a Bible, or even each other...and off to the TV (or bed, usually) everyone went, just to start again the next day. We didn't even have weekends free, because we were usually so behind on "Thursday work" which we naturally didn't finish, despite my determined good intentions, because there was so much and we knew we had Friday and the weekend. We signed up for a gymnastics class on Thursday afternoons which did nothing but make finishing Thursday work impossible, so I felt guilty about indulging in that...??? Too much. Tooooooooo much.
The good thing about the University model was that it gave me a little taste of what both sending a kid to school and keeping the kid home would feel like. AND, to top it all off, I got to experience the University Model Education thing, which I had idealized (all the benefits of homeschool, plus all the benefits of "regular school," right?). Now I know that UM has its downfalls, too. For example, you are every bit on someone else's schedule as kids in regular school. Attendance is obligatory. You get behind if you miss a day. You have to use the school's chosen curriculum, which leaves little room for individuality and creativity in how you teach a child a certain subject or skill. For me, a big plus to homeschooling was having more free time open for the kids to experience good old fashioned boredom (which usually leads to the most creative play and memories made) and for "extracurricular" activities (swimming, gymnastics, etc) without cutting into family time in the evenings. Don't get me wrong, I've fantasized about sending Bradley off to school for years. He is definitely a very high-need individual and usually leaves me drained at the end of the day, mentally and emotionally. In fact, I tried doing women's Bible studies, "Mother's Morning Outs", and even pre-school in the past. All lasted days to weeks to a couple of months before I realized it just wasn't worth it. All different reasons: for MMO, it was that he couldn't separate (too attached, which now I realize is a good thing); for the Bible studies he was okay, but Mikey was too attached to separate, so that pulled them both out (oddly enough, moms' Bible studies aren't too keen on you bringing your young ones in with you...it's strange to me); for pre-school, he was ready to separate and ready to learn how to "do" school, but his health (asthma) was in such terrible condition at the time that I was forced to pull him out to avoid respiratory germs. Each and every time I've given up on an aspiration involving someone else taking care of him for awhile in order to catch a "break", I've become more happy and "settled" at home, and I've been given peace and happiness with the result. Then, I look back on that very very short season of time and think, "Wow. I'm so glad that happened! I wouldn't trade that time for the world." That's with me being very determined to "make it work" when in the moment. Poor first kids. Such guinea pigs.
Anyway, I'll go back now about 3-4 years. So, when we moved to Mississippi, Bradley was a brand-newborn (4 weeks old) and Justin immediately went to work, like, ALL THE TIME. Books became my companions since I had no one to talk to. I devoured every parenting book I could find and began to find my way through the newborn, big baby, and toddler years. After only a couple of years, my newfound acquaintances with babies the same age started putting their kids in MMO one day, then two days, then three days, then five days a week. Eventually, the few mommy friends I had met were never available for "play dates" either because their children were at MMO or because they were just coming home from MMO and needed to have nap time or down time at home. Therefore, I kept going out to parks and libraries and the McDonald's indoor playground (gross, I know, but I was desperate) alone and often finding myself in the company of homeschooling families. They were almost always delightful, interesting people. The moms seemed happy and relaxed, and the children played and played with imagination like I had never seen before, cooperation I had never seen before, and kindness I had never seen before. Young children willingly and happily included my children in their play, and teen age children smiled and engaged my children in play and were completely without that aloof look on their faces. It really got me thinking. So, I started reading books and looking on the internet and talking to friends who homeschooled about their experiences. It was looking better and better. But the truth remains... Homeschooling is hard. Added to the burden of "just" raising your kids, you have the burden of educating them as well. It's a lofty goal, especially if you value strong academics and good preparation for college. I mean...do I REALLY want to re-learn algebra? Geometry? PHYSICS??? (Dear Lord!) Can I really figure out a way to do this? Do I have it in me? It sure is a lot of effort, and I have plenty to do already, especially with my family being so young and possibly not even completed. How would I be able to deal with a pregnancy AND doing homeschool at the same time? Plus, would me kids end up being "weird" and "unsocialized" and what about team sports--aren't those important? All the usual fears cropped up--a complete list of stereotypes and misconceptions. Over time, these fears are lessening, but they're still there. The more I learn about homeschool, though, the more I like the idea of it. It really does seem to fit my heart's desire for my family and our priorities we claim, even if I see myself as unfit, unworthy, or not "cut out" for homeschooling. Basically, the only thing I have going for me is the way I dress...totally like a homeschool mom already (oooooh! That was cold. See how mean I am? I don't want my kids to be like me.)
Speaking of me and my mean self, I'll take it back a few more years. First, college. The homeschooled kids were odd, yes. But it wasn't a bad thing. They were among my favorite people I met there. *Lightbulb* High school. Public school. Okay, I came from a very "good", reputable public school and got an adequate education there. I was almost prepared for college academics, though I would say there were a lot of missing holes, despite my being an almost straight-A student all the way through. Overall, it was a good experience. I wasn't bullied much, I had friends, and my official stance is, "I liked school. It was a good experience." But, looking back, I'm not so sure it wasn't just me making the best of what, in my mind, was the only option. I remember Mom saying she had wanted to homeschool us, and I remember saying, "What? Why!? That's weird! Homeschool is weird!" but actually thinking, "I would have loved that." I missed my mom terribly during the day. It got better once I got out of elementary school and into the upper grades, but I remember missing her during the day even in high school and being so relieved to get home at the end of the day. In the early grades, I was so exhausted after school that all I wanted to do was watch cartoons (Ducktales, a-woo-oo!). In later grades, after school hours were taken up completely by cheerleading practice and ball games. Family time was non- existent. We all grew further and further apart due to lack of time together, although, compared to my friends, I would have considered us a close family. My sister who was close to my age and I had our own little inside jokes and such, but they all stemmed from pre-school days and holidays...during the schoolweeks/schoolyears we didn't have time together to make memories. I never even really got to know my younger sister very well as she grew up, which to this day makes me sad, but we are getting to know each other now, which is good. But it seems there is something very wrong with the fact that the people I had the least amount of time for was my family. Peer orientation was the culprit, a phenomenon I learned more about in "Hold on to your Kids" by Gordon Neufeld. It's a simple concept: the people you spend the most (quantity) time around are the people who matter most to you. Now, I don't reject the notion altogether; after all, if there wasn't a youth culture, there would be no rock and roll or maybe even progressive thinking. I totally appreciate youth culture...to a point. Arguably, this day and age a homeschooled person could be totally in the know about youth culture because of the internet. But...most of what the youth culture has to offer is negative, if you think about it. I mean...think about it. You've got facebook shenanigans galore, and kids growing up way too fast while, at the same time, remaining so immature that they can barely handle adulthood when it comes a-knocking. I point to myself as a prime example. When I went to college, I didn't know how to do laundry. My mom did all the chores while I was at school. I don't even have a clue how she did it (every day? once a week? iron or dry cleaner?). I just wasn't involved in the process enough to pick it up. After supper, the sisters and I begged off helping with the dishes with homework as an excuse. Homework trumps dishes and trash-taking and chicken-feeding and vacuuming every time, so you can guess how well I knew how to take care of my home when I got married....NOT SO MUCH. I had other friends who's parents made them help out anyway, and they resented it; I'm not sure that was the problem. It's just that we had so little free time to choose what we wanted that we fought for it with everything we had. Or maybe we were spoiled...who knows. Point being, my theory is that I would have been much more prepared for my apparent role in life had I spent more time with mom and helped her more. I would really like for my children to be self-sufficient when they leave my home. I'm not saying that kids can't be self-sufficient when they leave home and attend school too; I'm just saying that I don't think I, personally, could prepare them very well without a significant amount of time at home.
I am a huge supporter of public schooling. One of my main hesitations about homeschooling is feeling like a traitor. The private schools in the town we'll be in are very good options as well. Part of the hard part about this decision is the plethora of good options available. Part of me wishes I could just get angry at "the man" and just go completely gung-ho and rebel. I'm just not there. I'm not sure schooling isn't what's best for my KIDS. If and when I ever figure out what's best for THEM, I'll be sold.
What's best for me? Well, (a) Do I even count? Some people would say yes to this, others would say no. I haven't yet decided if I count yet or how much. Even if I did count, what would the verdict be? Is it better for moms to have to let go of their children sooner rather than later, or is it better to hold on as long as you can? Is it better to have 7 hours free during the day to either do chores at home, hobbies, or go back to the workforce, or is it more character-building to have to learn to balance personal responsibilities with educating children while pushing hobbies and a career to the side? I can see the benefits on both sides. I can see myself being happy either way. But when I look at my parents and the pictures hanging in the hallway of our family 10, 15, and 25 years back, I can't help but think how quick that time went and how I want to savor my time with my children down to the very last drop that time has to offer. So far, being with them 24/7 has been so rewarding. Exhausting? Yes, but the rewards greatly outweigh it. Who says it all has to stop abruptly at age 5? That brings me to another point: not deciding.
This is the point I find myself at today. "Undecided." True to form, like with my major in college, I will likely remain "undecided" for as long as possible, taking it year by year, semester by semester, quarter by quarter...you get the picture. Some days, I really do want to call the nearest, and preferably WORST, school and enroll Bradley tomorrow just to end the struggle I'm having. But then, right on cue, we have an awesome day the next day, and I'm elated and feel like homeschool is the only way for our family. So, am I going to homeschool my kids permanently? For a year, two, until middle school, until high school? I have no earthly clue. All I know is what I'm doing today, and tomorrow can have itself. It can wait. I have today to deal with. If you want to know what we'll do next year, just ask me next year...I won't know till then.
So...as of TODAY, I'm a homeschool mom and we're a homeschool family. My son is a "somewhere-between-preK-and-first-grader", to use homeschool-speak. So far, we are loving it. It's just so nice. If it continues to be this great, we may have a good thing going, here. We'll see how the "dreaded month of February" goes and we'll see if I can even teach him anything over the course of the semester. Last semester, we did the UM school for a quarter, then "de-schooled" (required no formal daily work, only answers to questions and general de-compressing activities) until thanksgiving and through the holiday season. I slowly began introducing daily work in January, with the goal of maximizing our workload by February. I still have a lot of work to do on myself as the leader of this outfit, but we are making strides in the direction of the goal. Also, I have quite a bit of pressure on, due to a lack of family support. I'm not sure how my sisters feel about it, but my husband, parents, and in-laws (while obviously trying very hard to keep their opinions to themselves, which is not necessary but kind of them) remain unconvinced. So, this semester is pretty much... a "trial period." Dun-dun-dun!!! No pressure, Ash....keep calm...keep....calm...
If anyone is still reading this, I thank you so much for your interest in this very deeply personal and probably mundane topic. It's what I'm thinking about right now, so it's all I really have to blog about. I hope it resonates with someone who might want to help me, or for me to help them, get through this journey. I'm already having a lot of fun feeling out my "homeschool style." Apparently, there are as many different ways to homeschool as there are people. So far, I'm attracted to Charlotte Mason, Unschooling, and Classical methods. I'll talk about how I've tried to fuse those philosophies in my next post.
Thanks for listening,
Ashley
The short story is, we're just doing it this year out of necessity. We moved into a HUGE city with a billion school choices and options just a month and a half before it would be time for him to start school for the very first time ever (preschool and mother's morning out included). We didn't have time to visit and check out our options, so we just googled a couple of things we liked the idea of (classical, university model) and found one school that fit both descriptions; it was a small, new school that met in a church, just one or two years old, the class they had us visit was a preschool class and the most impressive teacher I've ever seen (all the 4 year olds were reading and writing independently), and the administrative people seemed nice, so we signed him up. We should have looked around more. When we came back, the school seemed to be struggling. Their enrollment had doubled and they didn't have enough teachers and were scrambling to hire people the summer before school started. That good teacher had left and it turned out that she wasn't a result of their teacher training but was just the most gifted teacher they had ever seen (it wasn't just me). It turned out that the school was just not a good fit for Bradley or our family. We lasted 9 weeks there before I put ourselves (and, dare I say, the school) out of our misery and took him out. Hence began homeschool!
What went wrong with the school? A lot of things. First of all, there's Bradley's role in it. I say role because it was absolutely not his fault. If there was any fault in the matter, it was mine. But, basically, Bradley and this school were like the perfect storm. First of all, I should have put him in pre-k there. The reason I didn't is because when we moved to the small community that we are moving to next year, I wanted the option of putting him into first grade or repeating kindergarten; I thought that if I put him in pre-k, we would not have the option of first grade when we got there. The problem with choosing a grade for Bradley is this: his maturity level and his size and intelligence are in two different ball parks. In pre-k, he would have stuck out like a sore thumb. He's big and tall and even has two loose teeth now. He already knows pre-k subject matter and has for years. But he has never been in a structured classroom and would have enjoyed the "babyish" aspects of it (playing with blocks and the kitchen, etc; just having free time built in in general). There, pre-k was like any other regular kindergarten. Then, they use first grade curriculum for their kindergarten and run the classroom just like a typical first grade (no free time, no play centers, etc). This was not an easy transition for Bradley to say the least. He had nooooo idea what to do or how to do it. Most of the other kids there knew the drill from being there or somewhere else for pre-k. There was basically zero tolerance for a child who was just learning how to sit still for hours, raise his hand to speak, and generally have no choice about his activity at any given moment. The curriculum was very intense, and Bradley (along with the rest of the children in the school) seemed very stressed. Eventually, Bradley even started pooping in his pants after school (especially on the bad days)--a classic sign of stress in children. Then there was the other stuff. The list could go on and on, so I'll just pick out a few things I disliked about the school. First, there was the bullying. You would think this wouldn't happen in a small private Christian school, especially when the kids are parroting "God, Jesus, God" all day long. Not so much. Poor baby. He was coming home telling me things people had said that day, such as, "I don't like you," "I hate you," "You're not my friend," "We don't want new friends," and "You can't play with us." These children were saying this stuff to him, hitting him, and shoving him down on the ground when teachers weren't looking (because they somehow know how to be sneaky and hide stuff from adults), then they would quietly irritate him in front of a teacher or adult (by poking him with their paper, etc) until Bradley retaliated and then Bradley would be sent to the principle's office, a big deal would be made about it, and then Bradley would be asked to apologize (when he was clearly not sorry). In this school, the drill is: do something wrong, apologize, ask for forgiveness...repeat. That really just didn't make sense to him, because in our family, I don't require insincere apologies (sincere apologies, yes; efforts to make a wrongdoing right, yes; lying, no). There were two boys that Bradley got mixed up with in a negative, repetitious cycle; both boys were children of the original group of parents who started the school, one of which being a board member's kid. So, basically, Bradley was scapegoated as being the "bad kid" and "troublemaker" of the class. Now. You think I'm fixin to have that? Um. NO. We are talking about a child who, in Sunday School (the only teacher-class experience he's had so far), has never had any report from the teacher but, "He is so sweet and polite and quiet. I wish every boy acted like him." At this school, Bradley was constantly in fight or flight mode; and he couldn't flee, so he fought. It's just all really sad that he had this experience. Before school, his favorite activities were: Math, Reading, and Writing. Now? He "hates God songs math, reading, writing, and books." Where did he even pick up the word hate? He never even heard or used that word before school....wait. Oh yeah, he got that at school. Anyway, to end a long and painful story, the conclusion is that the school was not a good fit. Basically, it was a group of parents who thought they were awesome parents and all agreed on parenting, then wanted to start a school that was just like their homes: regimented, authoritarian, and uber heavy on the "discipleship." And they all want their kids to go to Ivy League schools. This really is just not my style. I prefer my schedule as open and free as possible with as much variety as possible, my children have a lot of choice and say in our home and they aren't required to obey authority figures automatically, and my approach to discipleship is to attempt to live my beliefs and answer any questions they have along the way and not require them to pray and act as though they are a Christian when they are, in fact, not. The school seemed to be a great fit for a lot of people, and I'm really happy for them. If I could find a school that fit with my beliefs, I would be just as happy. So far...no dice. Apparently, I'm odd. And what do all the odd people do? Homeschool! Right?
So, you thought that was long? Those are the short and medium-ish stories. Here goes the LONG version. Gosh, where do I start?
I am not one of those people who is constantly saying, "God told me to do this," and "The Lord called me to that." But, occasionally...He tends to do that to me. I don't talk about it, but the Holy Spirit within me occasionally bugs me until I give in on something. THS (The Holy Spirit) and I have been going round and round for years on homeschool. I am, like, the most reluctant homeschooler ever. At the same time, I want peace about my choice for the children's educations and, like Jacob, I'm not letting go until God blesses me with it!!! I want PEACE! I must have PEACE! It's what I need to continue the parenting journey with my sanity intact!
So, the school thing brought me no peace. It was so stressful..and it was only TWO measly little days a week! Two days of getting up early, eating breakfast, getting dressed, packing the lunch, and rush-rush-rushing out the door. The "homeschool days" were hardly that. It was like I was no longer the mom of my children: I was now something I never aspired to be...a teacher. The kindergarten curriculum was so involved that I had to completely ignore my other two children for two whole days a week in order to get those boxes checked in order to keep him up with the pace of the rest of the class. It's not that he couldn't do the work. The work was too easy for him, which made it even more painful to sit and slave over it for hours and hours in order to have something to turn in to prove that he had done it. And when I say hours and hours, I mean HOURS and HOURS. I looked around at the other parents for inspiration, especially those who had been at the school from the beginning. They were all completely stressed, too. They said it, it was written all over their faces, and it was obvious by the lack of interest in activities on homeschool days that no one had any time for anything else except school. This bothered me. I didn't want my future in sending my kids to school or homeschooling my children to look like that...always dashing around from thing to thing with no time for people, friends, family, neighbors, or even each other. On at-school days, Bradley was so exhausted after school that I didn't have the heart to ask him to do anything and let him watch TV until supper and bedtime (which had to come early because of school). On those days, he had no play time to go outside and make use of free time. On home days, we had so much to do that I couldn't even throw a load of laundry in, let alone dry and fold and put away a load; I got very behind on my housework which was a huge source of stress. Also, I no longer had time to let the kids help with stuff. I would frantically go about catching up while threatening and punishing Bradley into finishing his home work. By the end of the checklist, none of us wanted anything to do with a book, learning anything, a Bible, or even each other...and off to the TV (or bed, usually) everyone went, just to start again the next day. We didn't even have weekends free, because we were usually so behind on "Thursday work" which we naturally didn't finish, despite my determined good intentions, because there was so much and we knew we had Friday and the weekend. We signed up for a gymnastics class on Thursday afternoons which did nothing but make finishing Thursday work impossible, so I felt guilty about indulging in that...??? Too much. Tooooooooo much.
The good thing about the University model was that it gave me a little taste of what both sending a kid to school and keeping the kid home would feel like. AND, to top it all off, I got to experience the University Model Education thing, which I had idealized (all the benefits of homeschool, plus all the benefits of "regular school," right?). Now I know that UM has its downfalls, too. For example, you are every bit on someone else's schedule as kids in regular school. Attendance is obligatory. You get behind if you miss a day. You have to use the school's chosen curriculum, which leaves little room for individuality and creativity in how you teach a child a certain subject or skill. For me, a big plus to homeschooling was having more free time open for the kids to experience good old fashioned boredom (which usually leads to the most creative play and memories made) and for "extracurricular" activities (swimming, gymnastics, etc) without cutting into family time in the evenings. Don't get me wrong, I've fantasized about sending Bradley off to school for years. He is definitely a very high-need individual and usually leaves me drained at the end of the day, mentally and emotionally. In fact, I tried doing women's Bible studies, "Mother's Morning Outs", and even pre-school in the past. All lasted days to weeks to a couple of months before I realized it just wasn't worth it. All different reasons: for MMO, it was that he couldn't separate (too attached, which now I realize is a good thing); for the Bible studies he was okay, but Mikey was too attached to separate, so that pulled them both out (oddly enough, moms' Bible studies aren't too keen on you bringing your young ones in with you...it's strange to me); for pre-school, he was ready to separate and ready to learn how to "do" school, but his health (asthma) was in such terrible condition at the time that I was forced to pull him out to avoid respiratory germs. Each and every time I've given up on an aspiration involving someone else taking care of him for awhile in order to catch a "break", I've become more happy and "settled" at home, and I've been given peace and happiness with the result. Then, I look back on that very very short season of time and think, "Wow. I'm so glad that happened! I wouldn't trade that time for the world." That's with me being very determined to "make it work" when in the moment. Poor first kids. Such guinea pigs.
Anyway, I'll go back now about 3-4 years. So, when we moved to Mississippi, Bradley was a brand-newborn (4 weeks old) and Justin immediately went to work, like, ALL THE TIME. Books became my companions since I had no one to talk to. I devoured every parenting book I could find and began to find my way through the newborn, big baby, and toddler years. After only a couple of years, my newfound acquaintances with babies the same age started putting their kids in MMO one day, then two days, then three days, then five days a week. Eventually, the few mommy friends I had met were never available for "play dates" either because their children were at MMO or because they were just coming home from MMO and needed to have nap time or down time at home. Therefore, I kept going out to parks and libraries and the McDonald's indoor playground (gross, I know, but I was desperate) alone and often finding myself in the company of homeschooling families. They were almost always delightful, interesting people. The moms seemed happy and relaxed, and the children played and played with imagination like I had never seen before, cooperation I had never seen before, and kindness I had never seen before. Young children willingly and happily included my children in their play, and teen age children smiled and engaged my children in play and were completely without that aloof look on their faces. It really got me thinking. So, I started reading books and looking on the internet and talking to friends who homeschooled about their experiences. It was looking better and better. But the truth remains... Homeschooling is hard. Added to the burden of "just" raising your kids, you have the burden of educating them as well. It's a lofty goal, especially if you value strong academics and good preparation for college. I mean...do I REALLY want to re-learn algebra? Geometry? PHYSICS??? (Dear Lord!) Can I really figure out a way to do this? Do I have it in me? It sure is a lot of effort, and I have plenty to do already, especially with my family being so young and possibly not even completed. How would I be able to deal with a pregnancy AND doing homeschool at the same time? Plus, would me kids end up being "weird" and "unsocialized" and what about team sports--aren't those important? All the usual fears cropped up--a complete list of stereotypes and misconceptions. Over time, these fears are lessening, but they're still there. The more I learn about homeschool, though, the more I like the idea of it. It really does seem to fit my heart's desire for my family and our priorities we claim, even if I see myself as unfit, unworthy, or not "cut out" for homeschooling. Basically, the only thing I have going for me is the way I dress...totally like a homeschool mom already (oooooh! That was cold. See how mean I am? I don't want my kids to be like me.)
Speaking of me and my mean self, I'll take it back a few more years. First, college. The homeschooled kids were odd, yes. But it wasn't a bad thing. They were among my favorite people I met there. *Lightbulb* High school. Public school. Okay, I came from a very "good", reputable public school and got an adequate education there. I was almost prepared for college academics, though I would say there were a lot of missing holes, despite my being an almost straight-A student all the way through. Overall, it was a good experience. I wasn't bullied much, I had friends, and my official stance is, "I liked school. It was a good experience." But, looking back, I'm not so sure it wasn't just me making the best of what, in my mind, was the only option. I remember Mom saying she had wanted to homeschool us, and I remember saying, "What? Why!? That's weird! Homeschool is weird!" but actually thinking, "I would have loved that." I missed my mom terribly during the day. It got better once I got out of elementary school and into the upper grades, but I remember missing her during the day even in high school and being so relieved to get home at the end of the day. In the early grades, I was so exhausted after school that all I wanted to do was watch cartoons (Ducktales, a-woo-oo!). In later grades, after school hours were taken up completely by cheerleading practice and ball games. Family time was non- existent. We all grew further and further apart due to lack of time together, although, compared to my friends, I would have considered us a close family. My sister who was close to my age and I had our own little inside jokes and such, but they all stemmed from pre-school days and holidays...during the schoolweeks/schoolyears we didn't have time together to make memories. I never even really got to know my younger sister very well as she grew up, which to this day makes me sad, but we are getting to know each other now, which is good. But it seems there is something very wrong with the fact that the people I had the least amount of time for was my family. Peer orientation was the culprit, a phenomenon I learned more about in "Hold on to your Kids" by Gordon Neufeld. It's a simple concept: the people you spend the most (quantity) time around are the people who matter most to you. Now, I don't reject the notion altogether; after all, if there wasn't a youth culture, there would be no rock and roll or maybe even progressive thinking. I totally appreciate youth culture...to a point. Arguably, this day and age a homeschooled person could be totally in the know about youth culture because of the internet. But...most of what the youth culture has to offer is negative, if you think about it. I mean...think about it. You've got facebook shenanigans galore, and kids growing up way too fast while, at the same time, remaining so immature that they can barely handle adulthood when it comes a-knocking. I point to myself as a prime example. When I went to college, I didn't know how to do laundry. My mom did all the chores while I was at school. I don't even have a clue how she did it (every day? once a week? iron or dry cleaner?). I just wasn't involved in the process enough to pick it up. After supper, the sisters and I begged off helping with the dishes with homework as an excuse. Homework trumps dishes and trash-taking and chicken-feeding and vacuuming every time, so you can guess how well I knew how to take care of my home when I got married....NOT SO MUCH. I had other friends who's parents made them help out anyway, and they resented it; I'm not sure that was the problem. It's just that we had so little free time to choose what we wanted that we fought for it with everything we had. Or maybe we were spoiled...who knows. Point being, my theory is that I would have been much more prepared for my apparent role in life had I spent more time with mom and helped her more. I would really like for my children to be self-sufficient when they leave my home. I'm not saying that kids can't be self-sufficient when they leave home and attend school too; I'm just saying that I don't think I, personally, could prepare them very well without a significant amount of time at home.
I am a huge supporter of public schooling. One of my main hesitations about homeschooling is feeling like a traitor. The private schools in the town we'll be in are very good options as well. Part of the hard part about this decision is the plethora of good options available. Part of me wishes I could just get angry at "the man" and just go completely gung-ho and rebel. I'm just not there. I'm not sure schooling isn't what's best for my KIDS. If and when I ever figure out what's best for THEM, I'll be sold.
What's best for me? Well, (a) Do I even count? Some people would say yes to this, others would say no. I haven't yet decided if I count yet or how much. Even if I did count, what would the verdict be? Is it better for moms to have to let go of their children sooner rather than later, or is it better to hold on as long as you can? Is it better to have 7 hours free during the day to either do chores at home, hobbies, or go back to the workforce, or is it more character-building to have to learn to balance personal responsibilities with educating children while pushing hobbies and a career to the side? I can see the benefits on both sides. I can see myself being happy either way. But when I look at my parents and the pictures hanging in the hallway of our family 10, 15, and 25 years back, I can't help but think how quick that time went and how I want to savor my time with my children down to the very last drop that time has to offer. So far, being with them 24/7 has been so rewarding. Exhausting? Yes, but the rewards greatly outweigh it. Who says it all has to stop abruptly at age 5? That brings me to another point: not deciding.
This is the point I find myself at today. "Undecided." True to form, like with my major in college, I will likely remain "undecided" for as long as possible, taking it year by year, semester by semester, quarter by quarter...you get the picture. Some days, I really do want to call the nearest, and preferably WORST, school and enroll Bradley tomorrow just to end the struggle I'm having. But then, right on cue, we have an awesome day the next day, and I'm elated and feel like homeschool is the only way for our family. So, am I going to homeschool my kids permanently? For a year, two, until middle school, until high school? I have no earthly clue. All I know is what I'm doing today, and tomorrow can have itself. It can wait. I have today to deal with. If you want to know what we'll do next year, just ask me next year...I won't know till then.
So...as of TODAY, I'm a homeschool mom and we're a homeschool family. My son is a "somewhere-between-preK-and-first-grader", to use homeschool-speak. So far, we are loving it. It's just so nice. If it continues to be this great, we may have a good thing going, here. We'll see how the "dreaded month of February" goes and we'll see if I can even teach him anything over the course of the semester. Last semester, we did the UM school for a quarter, then "de-schooled" (required no formal daily work, only answers to questions and general de-compressing activities) until thanksgiving and through the holiday season. I slowly began introducing daily work in January, with the goal of maximizing our workload by February. I still have a lot of work to do on myself as the leader of this outfit, but we are making strides in the direction of the goal. Also, I have quite a bit of pressure on, due to a lack of family support. I'm not sure how my sisters feel about it, but my husband, parents, and in-laws (while obviously trying very hard to keep their opinions to themselves, which is not necessary but kind of them) remain unconvinced. So, this semester is pretty much... a "trial period." Dun-dun-dun!!! No pressure, Ash....keep calm...keep....calm...
If anyone is still reading this, I thank you so much for your interest in this very deeply personal and probably mundane topic. It's what I'm thinking about right now, so it's all I really have to blog about. I hope it resonates with someone who might want to help me, or for me to help them, get through this journey. I'm already having a lot of fun feeling out my "homeschool style." Apparently, there are as many different ways to homeschool as there are people. So far, I'm attracted to Charlotte Mason, Unschooling, and Classical methods. I'll talk about how I've tried to fuse those philosophies in my next post.
Thanks for listening,
Ashley
Thursday, January 19, 2012
It's me again Margaret
It looks as if I might be back to blogging. We'll see. It seems that with each subsequent child, my blogging breaks are getting longer and longer! Anyway, I wanted to start afresh again, but using the original blog name so I don't get too far removed from my original mommy self.
What's going to be on this blog? Hm. Good question. I have no idea. But I've learned that leaving things open and being flexible saves room for cool things to happen. Not promising that the blog will be cool, but I'm allowing it to be whatever it wants to be.
Well, gone are the days of new parenthood, searching for answers for the best ways to feed a baby or get it to sleep, and a new dawn is upon me as a first-year homeschooling mom. I'm thinking this is where I'm going to process that a bit. I can't blog unless I'm inspired (and getting at least a little sleep), and these days are really sparking my imagination and enthusiasm for life.
One obstacle is that I have no idea how to use our new mac computer. That should be interesting. There might not be many pictures. But, who knows, maybe I'll figure it out.
Subjects I'd like to write on soon (listed here so I don't forget) are:
-Why I'm homeschooling this year
-Whether I'd like to continue homeschooling after this year, including reasons why I would and wouldn't continue
-My journey to "formal" homeschool from the beginning up till now and things I've learned along the way (including inspirational books)
-My hopes for this year's "crop" of homeschool fruit
-My current method/curriculum/educational "theory"
and, for good measure:
-A bit about my newest addition, Natalee, aka "Baby Girl"
-An update on Mikey-boo, the just-turned-four year old
-How I'm handling my home these days (cooking and cleaning)
-A bit about what I'm up to outside my home (API and Doula certification endeavors)
Welcome back to Franz Mania! It really is crazy over here. (and I love it that way)
What's going to be on this blog? Hm. Good question. I have no idea. But I've learned that leaving things open and being flexible saves room for cool things to happen. Not promising that the blog will be cool, but I'm allowing it to be whatever it wants to be.
Well, gone are the days of new parenthood, searching for answers for the best ways to feed a baby or get it to sleep, and a new dawn is upon me as a first-year homeschooling mom. I'm thinking this is where I'm going to process that a bit. I can't blog unless I'm inspired (and getting at least a little sleep), and these days are really sparking my imagination and enthusiasm for life.
One obstacle is that I have no idea how to use our new mac computer. That should be interesting. There might not be many pictures. But, who knows, maybe I'll figure it out.
Subjects I'd like to write on soon (listed here so I don't forget) are:
-Why I'm homeschooling this year
-Whether I'd like to continue homeschooling after this year, including reasons why I would and wouldn't continue
-My journey to "formal" homeschool from the beginning up till now and things I've learned along the way (including inspirational books)
-My hopes for this year's "crop" of homeschool fruit
-My current method/curriculum/educational "theory"
and, for good measure:
-A bit about my newest addition, Natalee, aka "Baby Girl"
-An update on Mikey-boo, the just-turned-four year old
-How I'm handling my home these days (cooking and cleaning)
-A bit about what I'm up to outside my home (API and Doula certification endeavors)
Welcome back to Franz Mania! It really is crazy over here. (and I love it that way)
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